come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
