i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
the raccoons are back...
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