i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Randomize
