Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
