Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
