so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
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I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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