Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
