this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Alive.
So much puke
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
