she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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