Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.