i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team