What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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