Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
