Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
