Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
