My hand turned me down
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Congratulations! We have a period
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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