So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
