Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
