what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
