im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
