im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
