sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
