Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
