The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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