i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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