So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
