Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
