Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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