I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
