could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize