She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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