he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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