mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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