Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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