Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Are we still banned from the library?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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