I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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