how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
