I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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