I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
