man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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