So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
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she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
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I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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