i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
