wakey wakey hands off snakey
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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