2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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