this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
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I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
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I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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