Your face is a jimmy john
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize