Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
