Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
