we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize