big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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