Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glass in half.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize