ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
