Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
