so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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