i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I had to cum in my sink.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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