Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
