ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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