he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
