Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize