Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
