singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
