I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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