so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
