I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
